Since its debut, stories of the Nintendo Wii surfacing in retirement homes across the country have become almost commonplace. We’ve all heard about how the combination of light exercise, interaction, and fun has proven most beneficial for grandmas and grandpas everywhere–so why is this news blurb from Newton, Kansas any exception? Because I was born in Newton and I thought this story was just plain adorable.

Who knew that Randy Reimer, a dairy farmer recovering from surgery at Presbyterian Manor, would ever come to love video games? The Nintendo Wii has made the Manor a “hip” hangout for the elderly and their young visitors–not to mention that they go all out on Fridays with a Tiki hut and fruit smoothies! Be sure to check out the Newton Kansan’s full story, and maybe even peruse the rest of the local happenings!

The Kansan

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I love finding fabulous treasure on eBay as much as the next person, but it’s even better when I stumble across something totally heinous. My latest eBay plunder brings you everything from $350 Bowser jackets, Mario/Ness hybrids, a Mario costume that’s probably flammable, and the cutest DS case I’ve ever seen. Keep reading after the break!

The strange picture you see above is actually a memo pad inspired by Super Mario–only this time there are inch worms, balloons, and Mario looks sort of like Mr. Saturn. Oh, and he dropped his coin purse back there! Have I sold you yet? Or, do I need to tell you that this is a used “Mario” memo pad? Nevertheless, the fact that there are six different images in all makes me curious indeed to see what else is in store!

At first glance, the perky bumblebee shirt and red hat led me to believe that I was checking out a Ness plushie–but after careful note of the telltale “M” along with the large mustache, I made the ultimate conclusion that this item is the lovechild of Mario and Earthbound’s Ness. But don’t listen to me–the seller claims that “These cute Plush are high quality with lot of detail.” How they came up with this ensemble for Mario, I have no idea–but from the back I think he kind of looks like a little French Mario!

Apparently, these little Bearbrick cars are a hot item in today’s toy world, and now Mario has joined their ranks. You can tootle him around with his mini counterpart, or connect it to other Bearbrick cars! If you happen to be searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day present (or even just looking for one more thing to add to your shelf of neat toys), be sure to check out this auction!

Behold!! The ugliest Mario costume ever manufactured from pure plastic! I think I even remember little kids coming around Halloween in these back in the day. But seriously, I can’t imagine who would want to wear this costume–for one, the wearer is going to smell like a beach ball (and cheapness); and two, I can assure you that this is violating about 20 different fire safety codes. In fact, I am reminded of the Saturday Night Live Halloween skit with Dan Aykroyd as a seedy toy maker selling costumes that are entirely unsafe (I think one costume was just a bunch of oily rags and a lighter). Yet, if collecting Nintendo history and memorobilia is your thing, than you probably need to pick one of these up at some point!

And I thought my Airfoam DS Lite case was cute–but then I found this item! If you’ve ever wondered where Mario keeps his DS Lite when he’s out saving the princess, his secret is revealed–he just slips it into his hat! Just unzip the brim of this jolly red cap and you’ve got yourself a cozy safe-haven for your portable gaming system!

I saved the most expensive item for last–and just in time for this horribly chilly weather! Bowser wears his spikes on his sleeve, and now you can too with this rare Bowser Letterman Jacket. With only 1000 made, you can bundle up this winter and be “Nin-trendy!” You’ll also be somewhat broke, seeing as though the “Buy it Now” price is $350.

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Vintage 80s Nintendo Sweater

The posts of Beeks are far and few (it’s been over 4 months!), but that’s neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is, it’s NEARLY the holiday season, and that gets me all riled up and ready to write! Our sleuth, Matthew, has already uncovered a few Black Friday finds, but do not empty your wallet just yet, for I have found a treasure trove of Nintendo goodies, all on eBay.

I’ll show you some of the gems I found this week and then explain how you can turn eBay into your one-stop-shop for all Christmas gifts Nintendo. Check it out after the break.

Searching for the perfect Christmas gift is easy–simply type in the keyword “Nintendo” into the eBay search bar, and in return, eBay will supply you with all sorts of catagories to browse. The major categories are Games, Clothing and Accessories, Collectibles, and Toys, with all sorts of subcategories to help narrow your search. I don’t think I ever would have found a Super Mario TV tray if I hadn’t seen the Houseware category under Collectibles!

The Vintage category under Clothing is also an excellent place to find authentic vintage fashion–stuff that was actually made in 1988 instead of three years ago and sold at Hot Topic. When I was poking around this past week, I stumbled across what I initially thought was just a really terrible sweater–but after taking a closer look, I realized it was a must-have for the Fall/Winter fashion season (see above picture). I mean, you just can’t find rainbow-knit Nintendo sweaters anymore! And the other day I managed to snag myself a vintage Koopa Troopa pin that’s just the perfect stocking stuffer!

Anyway, the message is clear–don’t spend all your money this year at Black Friday. There’s a myriad of gift ideas for the loyal Nintendo fan right at your fingertips on eBay, so get ready to shop victoriously!

Nintendo Bed Sheets

I remember when I was about 5 years old, I had three sets of sheets–Rainbow Bright, Garfield, and Alvin and the Chipmunks, and if I had been in charge of buying my sheets back then, these Super Mairo sheets would definitely have been part of my linen collection. Those of you lucky enough to still be sleeping on a twin bed, now is your chance to snuggle up with Mario and the gang! The only disappointing aspect is that only the flat sheet is for sale–that means no fitted sheet, no pillow cases, no duvet…just the top sheet.

Limited Edition Nintendo Legacy Shoes

Apparently, Nintendo licensed a limited edition set of men’s sneakers–400 pairs worldwide, to be exact. These Legacy X sneaks are decked out in Starmen and Yoshi, but you have to be a size 10.5 to wear them. If you happen to be a male with enough money and the just the right shoe size, you owe it to yourself to bid on a pair! And if they’re not your bag and you want another way to Nintendo-ize your footwear, see the next item up for bid…

Mario Croc Charms

For a much cheaper option of adding a little Nintendo flair to your shoes, you can check out these Super Mario charms. The only stipulation–YOU MUST OWN A PAIR OF CROCS, the most wretched/vile/offensive form of shoe in existence today. Hopefully most of you know better than to be wearing Crocs in public; but, if you or anyone in your circle of peers happens to own a pair of these monstrosities, you owe it to yourself to snag a set of these Mario charms to somewhat maintain your dignity.

Super Mario Drinking Glass

It’s not like you need to be reminded again, but I’ll say it anyway–the HOLIDAYS are creeping closer and closer! Everybody’s bound to be busy planning various Christmas and New Year’s parties, but I don’t want the little details to be left behind. Important factors like, “In what are we going to pour the Egg Nog?” need to be addressed and carefully scrutinized. Lucky for you, though, eBay has this sweet Super Mario Bros. 2 drinking glass up for bids. There’s no finer way to go wasseling than with this gem!

Surfing Mario Shirt

If you want Nintendo fashion, that generally means choosing from a very limited pool of tired t-shirt ideas. Sure, “Nintendo Rehabilitation Clinic” shirt might have been original a few years ago, but now everyone and their mother is wearing it. Now you want something different, and eBay has it. This is one example of the pure, vintage t-shirts I found. For some reason, Nintendo shirts made 20 years ago look so much cooler than the ones made now–Mario is surfing, for crying out loud! (*NOTE: This shirt is a youth 10/12. I’m sure it’s way too small for most readers, but that doesn’t mean you can’t buy it for a younger niece or nephew for Christmas!)

eBay

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RULE THE VIRTUAL CATWALK WITH FASHION DESIGNER: STYLE ICON ON NINTENDO DS

 

Milton Keynes, June 25th – 505 Games today unveils is slinky new number for November, Fashion Designer: Style Icon, for Nintendo DS. The game sits in 505 Games’ burgeoning portfolio of ‘lifestyle simulations’ and allows fledgling fashionistas the opportunity to conquer the world of fashion via Nintendo DS stylus.

Players take the role of a young designer eager to dominate the catwalk and follows their career from fashion training school, through graduation and beyond. After graduating, players can start a workshop, accept private design contracts, supply small boutiques and set up mail order companies. Design the best fashion creations and players can even supply outfits to the stars and VIP clients.

The comprehensive simulation gameplay is mission based and offers players the chance to present their creations in catalogues and movie posters, and even gives designers the freedom to select which supermodels, hairstyles and creations will strut their stuff on the catwalk. Player performance is rated according to factors including tailoring time, design choices and accuracy. All must be heeded if players are to become the world’s most popular fashion designer!

In addition to the extensive Career mode, it is also possible to design freestyle outfits whenever inspiration strikes in Free mode and to challenge friends to design-offs in wireless multiplayer games. Unlockable patterns, fabrics, accessories and supermodels also feature as rewards for exceptional designers.

Fashion Designer: Style Icon promises players a taste of the fashion world without the risk of scissor injuries and catty colleagues. Developed by Creative Patterns and published by 505 Games, Fashion Designer: Style Icon is scheduled for release in November.

 

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While you’re out buying your dad a new grill or a Home Depot gift card for Father’s Day (I’ll be getting my dad a bag of Peanut M&Ms and a Star Trek figurine), remember to show some love to your virtual fathers as well: those dads that reside deep inside your favorite video games. They have reared you from a young “tadpole” to a grown marshmallow, honed your Arwing flying skills, told tales of the old days of tossing barrels at Mario, and in some cases, you even ARE the father!

Though some of these fathers lied to you about your true identity, or even just failed to actually show up, they were still our dads’and it’s our turn to honor these fine father figures (how about that for alliteration?). So onward to the granddaddy of all lists, the top fathers in the videogame universe! Just one word of caution, many of entries contain some general plot spoilers, but if you have yet to play the games mentioned, go play them (after you take your dad out for lunch, of course).

-Becky’s Choices-

Frogfucious (Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars)

Though he is technically Mallow’s “grandfather,” Frogfucious serves as Mallow’s father figure for a good part of the game. The wise old frog who’s as sharp as a tack rescued poor Mallow when he was just a baby after he was found floating down the river in a basket following a terrible storm. From then on, Frogfucious raised our fluffy friend as a tadpole, teaching him the wisdoms of the river. But perhaps the hardest thing Frogfucious ever had to do was reveal to Mallow, his true identity: Mallow was not a tadpole, but a being from the clouds! Though it pained him greatly to do so, Frogfucious surrendered his role as Mallow’s caregiver and told him to seek out his true father and mother in the land of Nimbus.

Dad (Earthbound)

Ness’ dad never actually appears in Earthbound–in fact, the only time there’s actually an image associated with him is in the end credits, when he is merely represented as a telephone! As a workaholic, Dad is never at home and his only means of communication with Ness is by phone. Dad’s role in Earthbound is to aid Ness in saving his game through the phone and he also assists in depositing his son’s funds into the bank.

According to Wikipedia, Dad’s absence from his son’s life in Earthbound is kind of a poke at the Japanese worker-bee society. Though he might not be the most perfect video game dad, he at least makes some sort of outreach to Ness by suggesting that they “get together” for Ness’ 14th birthday.

Bowser (Super Mario series)

King Bowser, through his gruff exterior, is still the father of 7 bouncing Koopa Kids–but the question that’s been on my mind since childhood is…who exactly is the mother? Where did all those kids come from?! Logistics aside, Bowser has certainly done his fatherly part in raising his spawn to be just like him–each Koopa Kid is crafty and evil in their own way, always thinking of ways to thwart the plans of Mario and his gang. Bowser is caring in his own way, in that he has funded each Kid’s floating airship and castle lair.

Then there’s the other child, Bowser Jr., whose origins are questionable as well (Princess Peach?). Following the empty nest years after Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World, Bowser must have wanted another Koopaling to do his bidding, as the two have Hot-Tubbed together and attended/crashed various Mario Parties. Yes, he may be evil, but the guy’s sure got a soft spot for his kids!

Farmer Jack (Harvest Moon series)

Players took on a parenting role with the advent of the first Harvest Moon game for the Super Nintendo. If you worked hard enough and gave the girls in town enough presents, you, as Farmer Jack (or whatever you named yourself!), could eventually get married and have babies amidst all your farming duties! Even though conversation with your “wife” was limited in the first game, the introduction to having a child in a game and having your wife remind you to hold the baby was kind of exciting! (to me, at least!) As the series progressed, so did your responsibilities as a father. In the Nintendo 64 version, you had to be careful not to drop your baby into the house bathtub (a rumored glitch that I have never tried myself, and certainly don’t want to!). In the Gamecube versions you can buy your child toys and coloring books, hold him and cuddle him, and even throw him up into the air! Even the people who you’re friends with determine the interests your child has later on in life. This game is virtual-fathering at its best!

-Christian’s Choices-

James McCloud (Star Fox series)

James McCloud and his wife, Vixy Reinard-McCloud, raised their young Fox McCloud into the respectable pilot he is today. Following the death of Fox’s mother in an assassination attempt on James McCloud by a jealous Andross (who had also loved Vixy), James was all Fox had left in the universe. Unfortunately, James failed to return from a mission with his Star Fox team to the planet Venom – he was taken captive by Andross and presumed dead.

Fox eventually took the helm of the Star Fox team and with the help of Slippy Toad, Falco Lombardi, and James’ old teammate Peppy Hare, Fox admirably followed in his father’s footsteps as a missionary and force in fighting off Andross. Whenever in the vicinity of Venom, however, Fox encounters a figure resembling his father whenever he is in dire situations. James has arrived to guide Fox out of Andross’ self-destructing base and join the Star Fox in the fight against the Anglar Emperor. For unknown reasons, James has yet to return home to Corneria with Fox. However, it is evident that James has raised a son to be proud of and that he will always be at his son’s side when needed. James always leaves Fox with the advice to “never give up.”

Cranky Kong (Donkey Kong series)

It’s been a long time since Cranky Kong originally kidnapped Pauline and threw barrels down to his rival Mario during their younger days. These days, he waddles around his cabin with his cane simply serving as guidance to his son, Donkey Kong – the curly haired, necktie-wearing, Donkey Kong Jr. all grown up.

While Cranky Kong can be, well, cranky and bitter as he constantly insults his empty-headed son and his friends and hitting them on the noggins with his cane, he’s a good father at heart. He’ll always be around to offer tips and advice to young Donkey Kong, and even took up potion-making in his later days to contribute to Donkey Kong’s adventures in anyway he could. When there’s no impending need to spoil the plans of King K. Rool, Cranky will set aside time to bond with DK and his friends. He has been seen behind the turntables when DK and friends decide they want to rap.

King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule (The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker)

While not the immediate ancestor to Princess Zelda in The Wind Waker, King Hyrule serves as a father figure to both Link and Zelda. He was the greatest king that ever sat upon Hyrule’s throne, and yet his efforts were not enough to halt Ganon’s return to Hyrule. He learned from his experiences, though. He remained trapped under the Great Sea and tied to the sunken Hyrule Kingdom for thousands of years and for the duration of the game, yet goes out of his way to guide Link on his quest via a magical, red, talking boat – The King of Red Lions. Upon revealing the true identities and destinies of Link and Zelda, he offers the princess sanctuary as Link continues on towards Ganon.

In his final moments, he realizes the need to rid the world of Hyrule Kingdom and its tarnished history. Thinking only of Link, Zelda, and their futures, he lays his hand on upon the Triforce and wishes Hyrule to be permanently washed away and for the children to be given hope. Link and Zelda float back to the surface, reaching one last time for the king who would sacrifice his own life and kingdom so that they could have a future.

-Matthew’s Choices-

Dr. Light and Dr. Wily (Mega Man)

In the year 200X, two men will be able to conceive not just one, but as many as eight children together! It’s true, just ask Dr. Light and Dr. Wily, the co-creators of Rock (Mega Man), their daughter Roll (Rock and Roll? Leave it to those two…), and a smorgasbord of Robot Masters (Guts Man!).

Shortly after the first robot creations, trouble in paradise struck the doctors. After Dr. Light was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and all the credit for the robots, Dr. Wily grew extremely bitter and sought revenge by turning Dr. Light’s own robots against him. While the Robot Masters were created to help humanity with mundane tasks such as demolition and time travel research, Dr. Wily reprogrammed them to assist him with his plans of world domination- and huzzah!- one of the longest running game franchises was born!

Big Boss (Metal Gear Series)

With appearances in Metal Gear, Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, and Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Big Boss is the most essential character in the entire Metal Gear universe. Hell, Big Boss is such a stud that he enjoys the spotlight in Metal Gear Solid, even if he was already dead. Just how awesome is Big Boss? Refer to the following list:

• Green Beret and the very first field operative for the FOX unit.
• He not only survived a fall from the top of a bridge, but he also survived a nuclear explosion
• Infiltrated the Soviet fortress of Groznyj Grad and destroyed the nuclear tank, Shagohod
• Founder of the special forces unit, FOXHOUND
• Survived torture and was left for dead on multiple occasions, but still managed to survive (until he was finally killed by Solid Snake in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake
• At his older age, he looks like Sean Connery.

Clearly there was far too much badassness to go around, so Big Boss had three children cloned from his DNA during the Les Enfants Terribles of the 1970s- Liquid Snake (whose arm is famous in Metal Gear Solid 2), Solidus Snake (known as George Sears, who is only the President of the United States), and Solid Snake (the main playable character of the Metal Gear series).

Big Boss won’t be winning any “father of the year” awards anytime soon, I mean after all, he sent Solid Snake to Outer Heaven in the first Metal Gear with the assumption that he would fail his mission and die, but when Solid Snake reached the end, Big Boss was forced to kill Solid Snake himself. Even when Solid Snake ends up “killing” Big Boss, he shows up at the end of credits to swear revenge against Solid Snake. I’d love to see how Thanksgiving was handled at the Snake household…

Did I mention that Big Boss’s codename was Naked Snake? How awesome.

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Don’t be bashful! Ever since the Game Boy surfaced and took the world by storm, gamers everywhere have taken to the bathrooms with the portable gaming device in hand. Now, with the rampant success of the DS Lite and the “Touch Generation” games, a new generation of bathroom gaming has begun! Unfortunately, this new generation of bathroom gaming has been quite a daunting one with all the great games to choose from.

Fear not, young bathroom gamer, because we have the perfect list for you! From the aspiring bathroom gamer to even the most seasoned of pros, everybody is sure to walk away from this list with quite a few good nuggets of information- after the jump, of course.

10. Yosh’s Island DS

This is currently my (Becky’s) restroom game of choice. Any type of game that is played in stages is perfect for small bits of gaming I can easily sit down, play through one (or two during those rough days) stages and be done for the day. There isn’t a story line that gets broken up or the problem of waiting for save points to crop up- making this an almost perfect portable game.

And who can forget that this game is also just another terrible bathroom metaphor in the making. Take the box art sample to the right that features the four main stages of “the cycle”: The Struggle, Surprise, Relief, and finally, Pride.

9. Mario Kart DS

Perhaps an even better choice than Yoshi’s Island, Mario Kart is playable for the duration of any trip to the john. Think you’ll be done in a flash? No problem, just pop in Mario Kart and complete any of the quick racing challenges! Or perhaps you’re anticipating a more lengthy visit any of the Grand Prix races will suffice your entertainment needs for the entire time! Be wary of starting any Wi-Fi matches, though not being able to pause the game when you need to can be rather daunting.

8. Nintendogs

Now this is a soothing game to play when you’re having a little trouble! One doesn’t even have to think when you’re playing any edition of Nintendogs–just switch it on and watch your lovable puppies yip and roll around. If you’re feeling a little more active, try taking your dog out for a relaxing walk (and don’t forget to pick up after they do their own business!) or play a game of frisbee in the park. Whatever the case, no game makes taking a trip to the bathroom more enjoyable than Nintendogs!

7. Elite Beat Agents

Elite Beat Agents is, without a doubt, the most difficult game to play while in the bathroom. This game require some intense focusing at times when it might be a bit hard to focus on a game. Not only that, but the game’s “music” isn’t always the most soothing soundtrack for your post Taco Bell escapades. Trust me, being forced to listen to Avril Lavigne and Hoobastank during your time of peril does far more harm than good.

6. WarioWare Inc: Mega Micro Game$

You all know that one guy that goes to the bathroom, but before the door even has time to shut, the toilet flushes and he’s already done doing his civic duties. Usually I would be jealous of this sort of superhuman biological function, but he’s the one missing out on some quality gaming time. No worries though, because WarioWare is absolutely perfect for even the fastest of pit stops. Done in less than 30 seconds? No problem! That’s enough time for at least 5 quality microgames.

Toss in Dr. Crygor’s bathroom themed stage after his latest run of gastrointestinal distress, and you have yourself quite the bathroom companion.

5. Tetris DS

Some people do crosswords, others play Sudoku, but Tetris is clearly the best bathroom puzzler available! The variety of play modes gives even the pickiest of bathroom gaming aficionado plenty of options to entertain them. Need to brush up on some puzzle solving skills? No problem, the puzzle mode (duh!) is sure to keep you challenged far into the night.

Gamers tired of all this new age mumbo jumbo can kick it old school with everybody’s favorite standard mode. The low difficulty and familiarity of this mode allows you to just sit down, zone out, and watch the little blocks drop!

Tetris DS even offers the… push mode. The competitive types should proceed with caution though, since losing a round in push mode could have some disastrous effects aside from the standard spikes and flames found in the game…

4. Animal Crossing: Wild World

You’re already doing something productive during that stint in the bathroom, so why not make it even more so? In just one trip you can pull some weeds, catch some bugs, shake some trees, check the recycling bin, water flowers, dig some holes, buy some furniture, check the bulletin board, mingle with neighbors, build a snowman, and…well you get the point!

Productivity at its very finest.

3. Brain Age

Performing virtual chores is good and all, but why not make your quality time all the more valuable by giving your brain a hearty workout. In fact, Professor Kawashima’s daily Brain Age calculation test is the perfect way to spend those few precious minutes. From word memorization, head count, calculations X 100, and my favorite, low to high, these brain exercises are sure to give you the ultimate sense of accomplishment in the end.

Just watch out for that dreaded Stroop test while in mixed company. You might get a few looks when you come out after spending the last three minutes shouting “BLUE! YELLOW! BLA-RED!”

2. Pokémon Diamond and Pearl

Never before have I (Matthew) been so addicted to “catching ‘em all!” While I tend to hardly find enough time to play most games (darn college!), I have been catching myself making my rounds across the Sinnoh region a bit too many times throughout my day, especially while in the bathroom. The game’s extremely slow pace (pointless trainer battles, anyone?) has turned my quick pitstops into hour long Pokécraps. But hey, it’s all worth it for those few amazing moments- such as when my Magikarp finally evolved into a Gyarados. It’s those bathroom moments that make life truly worth living.

And I, Beeks, couldn’t put it any better myself! I tend to find the game’s use of the internal clock to be quite strategic–like, say, during those late night poos. Any other time I’d be too groggy to even care about flipping open a magazine on the pot, let alone turning on my DS Lite when I’m still feeling a bit fuzzy at 3 in the morning. But I’ll tell you this, there is no better time to go about catching some of those rare Pokemon that only come out during the wee hours of the morning!

1. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

This game is mediocre.

OBJECTION!

This game is good.

HOLD IT!

Ok, fine, this game is the best bathroom game ever made. Seriously, nothing beats the satisfaction of solving an entire murder trial within the comfort of your own bathroom. Nothing. Bonus points for shouting “OBJECTION!” and “HOLD IT!” into the mic while people are over. Trust me, people will never be more intrigued about a bathroom trip once you come out of there, especially when you tell them about the murder you just solved!

If you’re still reading this, then you’ve obviously got some merit–while some might run for the hills when the topic of poo surfaces, you, the reader, have made it to the end because you either A) already participate in bathroom gaming and want to brush up on the titles of choice, or B) you’ve never considered playing on the pot and find this to be a remarkable idea! In closing, both Matthew and I would like you to heed this one warning: be sure to avoid Final Fantasy III. A game that’s only for the hardcore RPG fan is now only for the hardcore bathroom gamer. With save points scattered far and wide, you could find yourself trapped in the bathroom for hours before finding a stopping point! I only recommend this game if you’re prepping for a colonoscopy! But I digress. We hope you enjoyed our Top Toilet Titles and wish you a happy gaming session the next time you’re ready to take a dump!

Join us next week as we take a look at the top games to play while playing a game.

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Acrylic on canvas, 24″ x 36″

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Nintendo Series 5 by piticha

If you can’t get enough of the recently-opened i am 8 bit art exhibition or just have a craving for some Nintendo themed paintings and prints, head on over to deviantART.com and just do a search for Nintendo–or Mario, or Zelda, or ANYTHING you can think of! With nearly 35 million submissions, it’s unlikely that you won’t find something that you like. In fact, some artists have print accounts, so you can order different sizes of prints of your favorite pieces. Here is just a sampling of some Nintendo artwork I stumbled upon!

More after the break!

Nintendo by Blanket509

Nintendo by RYAN99

Oh Nintendo is So Cool by Jhny-heat

Goombas by Tom Preston

Super Mario Brothers Fanart by living-oxymoron

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Super Mario Cake Pan
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Having just recently watched Wayne’s World with Matthew, I have been especially reminiscent of the SNES game of the same name. Like most movies made into games, this one SUCKS and makes me want to spew in a small paper cup. I want to love this video game since the movie itself is held dear in my heart, but there are some things that just shouldn’t be made into a video game. Wayne’s World is one of those things!

The game opens with pixilated versions of Wayne and Garth sitting on their dilapidated couch in the basement of Wayne’s parents. After a virtual EXTREME CLOSE-UP!, Wayne and Garth begin their list of the top ten worst games they played at Noah’s Arcade that week. Regarding Henry: The Video Game, Gord’s Funtime Checkers, and Sputnik the Bowl Weevil were all games that were totally PAIL. They were so BUCKET! Except for Sputnik the Bowl Weevil–Garth thought that was pretty cool…NOT! I digress. The top worst game at Noah’s Arcade is Zantar, the Gelatinous Cube, and it did more than just suck up Wayne and Garth’s quarters. After a blinding flash of light, Wayne and Garth were transported into a video game world where Wayne’s head is the size of the Mirthmobile! Almost immediately Garth is swiped away by a purple, gelatinous appendage and it’s up to Wayne to explore this virtual world to save Garth! As riveting as this opening sequence is, the momentum does not keep for the rest of the game–Wayne’s World promptly falls apart at stage 1!

Confusion sets in as soon as gameplay commences–Wayne is suddenly thrust into a music store with a both a seemingly infinite ceiling and floor. Everything just seems to go on forever with absolutely no end in sight! So, with no clues or hints as to which direction this stage is going, I spent most of my time wandering about aimlessly, hopping from snare drum to snare drum. Your “weapon” of choice is a trusty guitar which you can use to strum sound waves at the walking tubas and accordions that patrol the store. I suppose this game wouldn’t be so challenging if there wasn’t so much crap going on in the background–too many times the angry bagpipes blended in with everything else rendering them almost invisible! Before I know it, I’ve jumped right into an enemy and suddenly “I’m not worthy!”

And that’s about all I can offer for this review–since I can’t figure out how to get past the first stage, there isn’t much more for me to even say! (I even tried to play again this morning after eating some peanut butter waffles–NO DICE!) I think there might be a conspiracy similar to the one presented by Noah Vanderhoff from Noah’s Arcade–the game was designed to keep you from advancing to the next level so you would just keep pumping in more time and buying strategy guides, or something of the sort! I don’t know, it FRUSTRATES ME TO NO END!

Chances are Wayne’s World for the SNES never even crossed your mind–you probably don’t own it or have never even played it. So why bring it up all of a sudden? Well, for one, last weekend’s viewing of the actual movie brought back memories of renting the SNES game at a ripe age and being thoroughly disappointed (but kind of in that good disappointment, where you know the game is terrible, but you have so much fun telling everyone how much it stinks!). But for the worldly, more “cosmopolitan” gamer, it’s important to know about those old poopshoot video games! It serves for excellent dinner conversation!

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In honor of St. Pattie’s Day, Matthew and I have devised a most sensational list of emerald-clad video game characters! There are the obvious choices such as Luigi and Link, but we’ve added a few surprises as well! Without further ado, the LIST!

Link

Shigeru Miyamoto clearly had greenness on his mind when he created one of the most heralded video game heroes of all time, Link from the Legend of Zelda series. Miyamoto’s inspiration for Zelda came from him exploring the hills and countryside near his home; his hope for Zelda was to recreate a “miniature garden” for players!

Link has sailed the high seas, appeared in a comic strip, and has even produced his own cereal! He’s a man of many hats as he can fish, fence, wrangle cattle, and play a myriad of musical instruments (he played eight alone in Link’s Awakening, not to mention the Ocarina of Time and those tooty grass whistles in Twilight Princess!). Unfortunately, we don’t see the versatility and learnedness of Link in the abomination that is the CD-i game. Guh! Here we have Link in one of his few actual speaking roles, and he’s portrayed as some flamboyant nutcase! And he gets himself kidnapped in the other two CD-i games–the real Link would never allow that. View grotesque imagery here!

Best known for his green tunic and conical hat, Link is featured in this garb in every Zelda game. He loves his green in other forms, too, such as collecting all those green rupees and drinking green potion to restore magic. His love for the color is understandable–he grew up in Kokiri forest! He’s quite the man of nature!

Luigi

Sweet, mustachioed Luigi! Generally thought of as Mario’s #2, Luigi has rarely had his share of the limelight. In the early days, Luigi was just a second playable character–his green overalls came from a simple “palette swap” from Mario’s red clothes. Aside from playing second fiddle in most Mario Brothers games, Luigi’s been shunted aside in other occasions,  such as only being featured in the instruction booklet of Super Mario RPG (but he did a fantastic job of leading the celebratory end-of-game parade!). Even both Mario and Luigi: Super Star Saga and Partners in Time showcase our plumber in the most bumbling of fashions–everything from getting harangued by the Star Shard at the Star Road or getting bonked on the head numerous times by his younger version of himself. But, our green friend has had his share of the limelight! He was played by the um, dashing young John Leguizamo in the Super Mario Bros. Movie (and I believe he even scored Princess Daisy at the end! A twist of events!), AND he starred in his own GameCube game, Luigi’s Mansion! Though sometimes a little nervous and cowardly, Luigi is still our favorite green plumber!

Yoshi

Yoshis come in all shapes and colors, but we best know this dinosaur for being Mario’s beloved green friend (besides Luigi!). Mario’s hungry counterpart made his debut in Super Mario World as a ridable character. Yoshi can eat berries, poop eggs, but according to the Super Mario World cartoon show, he is deathly afraid of water!

This debut in SMW was Yoshi’s springboard into the world of Nintendo. Sine then, he has appeared in the Mario Party games, Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros., his own platform adventures that are the Yoshi’s Island games, and even a delicious puzzle game called Yoshi’s Cookie! Also, we must not forget Yoshi’s fine cinema performance in the Super Mario Bros. movie–although, Hollywood did not do his cuteness justice by casting some odd velociraptor in his persona. But, our Yoshi can do it all! He can drive you where you want to go, he can bake you cookies, he can even babysit your nephew. Yoshi is a fine green friend!

Green Koopa

It’s amazing how far green koopas have advanced in the gaming world! In the early years, Green Koopas were only good for stomping and kicking (and occasionally getting extra lives!)–they were stereotyped as “baddies” and “doofuses!” But now, NOW the Green Koopa is making a comeback! After being allowed to drive for the first time in Super Mario Kart for the SNES, Green Koopas found no reason to stop–they barreled through the Nintendo scene with cameos in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and various Mario Party games as the entrepeneuring Koopa! (he was a little too pushy with the whole Koopa Kabana thing though!). At this rate, Green Koopa’s going to get his own game! Here’s to the little green guys!

Kraid

What kind of jerks would we be if we didn’t mention one of the most amazing bosses of the 16-bit era. I clearly remember fighting Kraid for the first time back when Super Metroid was released:

*Samus wanders into room*

*Kraid appears*

“Oh, that’s a pretty cool boss…I guess”

*Kraid suddently becomes TWICE his original size, taking up TWO full vertical screens*

“OH MAH GAWD THAT THING IS HUGE AND SCARY!!”

And now there is no longer a mystery as to why I lacked childhood friends (Matthew, not Beeks!).

Tingle

Speaking of lacking friends, how can we forget our friend…erm, acquaintance, Tingle? I’m fairly certain that Tingle was one of the contributing reasons to why I despised Majora’s Mask for the past seven years of my life. Then again, I am starting to yearn for Majora’s Mask to hit the Virtual Console so I can give it another chance. Perhaps Nintendo could conveniently omit Tingle from the game, you know, since they seem to love taking out key elements from their other games. I guess we should just replace Tingle with… Thelma? Wait, nevermind, we need to keep these games E-Rated.

Green Herb (Resident Evil series)

How a simple plant can cure so many ailments is beyond me, but nevertheless, green herbs are vital to survival in Resident Evil. If only plants could cure zombie bites in real life!

Green Potion (Zelda)

Many of Link’s weapons use copius amounts of magic, so the magic restoring green potions are a godsend!

Rupee (Zelda)

The Green Rupee is worth the least amount in any Zelda game, but they are scattered about everywhere–hiding in bushes, buried underground, or scavenged away in pots. One can never go poor in Hyrule!

Koopa Shells (Mario Bros)

Green Koopas appear in the first stage of Super Mario Bros., and if you bounce on them at just the right time, they’ll pop right out of their shell yielding you a handsome green weapon of mass destruction. Known for bulldozing down enemies or ricocheting off walls for extra lives, green koopa shells are a staple in any Mario game!

Green Balloons (Diddy Kong Racing)

These are the balloons to collect if you’re planning to wipe out your opponent–one balloon grants you an oil spill, but if you are patient and collect more, you can build up to a spikey mine trap or a wubbulous bubble that’s handy for trapping other racers!

1-UP Mushroom (Mario Bros.)

Last, but not least, the allustrious 1-UP Mushroom! Without these, many gamers would have struggled through the challenges of Super Mario Bros.! Snagging this mushroom not only means gaining an extra life but also reaping the rewards of hearing that delightful 1-UP tinkling noise that signals your extra chance.

Bowser
Bulbasaur
K-Rool
Jade (Beyond Good and Evil)
The green Bubble Bobble thing
Frogger
Luigi’s Hat (an item to wear in Super Mario 64 DS)
Green Tunic
Yoshi Eggs

Now go jump in the Chicago River! You know, since it’s dyed green right now…

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Welcome to the Kitchen of Beeks! Today was my day to bring snacks to work, so I decided to get up early and make these glorious, bite-sized 1-cUPcakes! You will never gain weight when you eat them, only extra lives! If you are salivating as I believe you probably are, you can come all the way to Kansas and help me polish them off!

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If you are a fan of The Big Lebowski, then you need to make yerself a White Russion and watch this little Mii film on Youtube! The only part that’s missing is the bowling scene with Jesus! I guess I can’t have everything!

*note from Beeks: There are a lot of F-bombs in this video! Just saying since, you know, kids can look up porn and receive messages from child predators on their DS, it’s best to warn parents about these things.

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Sweet buttons! With all these websites offering downloads of the newest video game trailers, it’s hard to remember a time when obtaining such information wasn’t so readily available. Why, in my day, the latest gaming secrets and trailers were sent as top secret video tapes! *I’m thinking of one in particular*–the elusive Star Fox 64 preview sent to me from Nintendo Power in the late 90s! It has everything a girl could hope for–the story of the heroic jump-suited Nintendo employee that outwits the bumbling Sony/Sega goons. Deception, trickery, thievery, malice! Multiplayer mode! Pizza!! My head spins every time I watch this video, and it’s all I can do but stand up and cheer when Nintendo delivers the classic one-liner, “See ya later…..booooooyyyyeeeeess!!” My only wish in life is for Nintendo to make more of these masterfully crafted game trailer scripts! Or maybe I should make my own!

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Greetings! This is obviously Beeks writing. I plan to warp here occasionally from the N+ Blogosphere per Matthew’s request so I can dribble a bit of my Nintendo-banter onto The Tanooki. I plan to do more than dribble! I plan to add dollups of chit-chat and news!

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