Read this with your April Fools-proof glasses on, because this bit of news is highly improbable: Grand Theft Auto IV is, according to a leaked list from a French retailer, heading to Nintendo’s beloved handheld. Now with the DS’s install base in the States and other countries, it would guarantee both Rockstar and Take-Two a few bucks to add to their already fat wallets, but I mean, Grand Theft Auto…Nintendo?!

If this rumor should be true, Take-Two has been able to keep this on the hush-hush quite well - which is a rarity in the gaming industry given the popularity of the interwebs and its countless media outlets. A port is very well possible despite the DS’s hardware limitations; just look at Call of Duty 4. And with the stylus, carjacking and running from the police would be fun as ever. The pieces to the puzzle are there, so it’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out. Let’s just hope there are no hot coffee incidents and if there are, they stay on the 360 and PS3. Last thing we need is another reason for our buddy Jack to peek his gorgeous face from under his blanket.

Expect a “I told you so” update on April 2nd.

Game-Class
via N4G

Face it, you’ll never see a LEGO Smash Bros. game. For some of us, that’s good news - LEGOs stopped being cool after they went all Bionicle on us. For others, you probably hope I’m completely wrong and you’re expecting to see a LEGO Smash Bros. game someday… like that LEGO Halo you saw in EGM, right?

Once you’ve come to terms that the game will never happen, you might still be wondering what such a game might look like. graznador2 has brought together LEGO versions of Link, Mario, Snake, Mr. Game & Watch, Dr. Mario, Samus, Diddy Kong, R.O.B., and five different Yoshis on a LEGO Final Destination. Want to relive your childhood? Head past the break for pics.

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Non-new technology adopters rejoice! The DS attachment for the upcoming Guitar Hero: On Tour will indeed work on the new pearly-white (or your custom colored) DS Lite, but it will also fasten onto your trusty DS Phat. It will still be an awkward fit and have the ever-so-difficult orange fret removed, which will without a doubt make you medium-leveled Guitar Hero fans exultant, but at least you won’t have to purchase a new DS, saving you a few bucks and a trip outside.

Considering that the Phat has more weight to it, perhaps you could also spend some time getting a good, unintentional workout whilst playing Guitar Hero: On Tour, which hits retailers this June.

Red Octane
via Joystiq

Sure, Nintendo’s been pumping out 1.8 million Wii consoles each month, but between satisfying demand in North America and satisfying demand in Europe, Nintendo would rather ship those consoles away from Americans. Why? They earn less profit from the floundering US dollar.

Now that demand is starting to slow down in Europe, you might start seeing more systems here in the States in the coming months. Hopefully, for Nintendo’s sake, the dollar will be on the upswing by then - people want to throw their money at Nintendo!

Dallas News

Wedbush Morgan’s Michael Pachter has gone on record to say that he expects Wii Fit to be one of 2008’s biggest blockbuster hits. Nintendo of America executives have confirmed to him that the new non-game will receive the company’s biggest marketing budget in history, totaling anywhere up to $40 million.

“Wii Fit will sell 3 million to 4 million in the US if they market aggressively.”

With the Wii Fit price tag looking to be around $89.99, are you going to be among those 3 or 4 million buyers in 2008?

NY Times
via Huffington Post

Toy Shop for North America, and both Double Sequence: The Q - Virus Invasion and Jetix Puzzle Buzzle for Europe, all on the DS. That pretty much sums up all physical releases this week in the Western world. No new Wii releases at all.

In Japan, things aren’t much better in terms of new games. A severely shortened DS release list greets Japan later this week - of course, a shortage of new DS games for Japan is still considered hefty by our standards. The Wii? Zip.

As usual, the full release list for this week can be found after the break.

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Two new games for everyone in North America this morning, courtesy of Nintendo’s Virtual Console service. The N64 version of Cruisin’ USA races in at the always-pricey 1000 Wii Points mark. The other release is for the Sega Master System: Wonder Boy is now available for 500 Points.

• Cruisin’ USA (Nintendo 64, 1000 Wii Points)
• Wonder Boy (Sega Master System, 500 Wii Points)

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Several of you out there have expressed interest in challenging The Tanooki Staff in a friendly game of Brawl. Well, tonight’s your chance, as we are hosting our first ever Live Game Night tonight! Any of you interested in taking on Joey or Ryan via the Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection should head over to our forum board in order to participate. The event is scheduled to last from 7 PM to 9 PM Central time. Also, please note you must be a member of The Tanooki Forums in order to participate, so be sure to sign up if you have not already.

Keep in mind that this will not be the regularly-scheduled time for future Game Night events, and that we will be doing this again soon if tonight doesn’t work for you. Be sure to check back for news about more upcoming events in the near future. See you online!

Tanooki Live Game Night Boards

Just a friendly reminder that Play-Asia’s epic sale is ending in 17 hours. In case you missed our post from a few days ago, Play-Asia currently has most in-stock items for 20% off. The sale excludes systems and items released in the last 30 days.

My suggestion: one of these amazing shirts to commemorate Mega Man’s 20th anniversary.

Play-Asia

I’m not sure who put Vanilla Ice, spandex pants, and a Game Boy into a shoe producing blender (they exist, trust me) but Puma has decided to sell the retina-burning offspring. There are even two sweet color schemes to choose from. The fine detail on the upper portion is decorated with little Tetris pieces, which is kind of cool. Maybe.

You will probably have more luck creating some Nintendo inspired shoes yourself like Joe Colon did with his Smash Bros. kicks awhile back. On a more positive note, Puma’s footwear would certainly give the owner’s fandom some well deserved bonus points. Anyone willing to take a hit to the fashion kidneys* for their love of games is alright in my book. Just be prepared to point out the small Tetris pieces to skeptics in an effort to save your dignity. More photos, and closer shots of the Tetris inspired detail after the break.

*fashion kidneys do not actually exist

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