Whoa, it’s the middle of July already? Where does all this time disappear to? Oh well, at least Nintendo is treating us to Paper Mario to help get us through this post-E3 lull. As for Balloon Fight and Silent Debuggers? Well, let’s just say they aren’t as good as they sound on… paper.

Paper Mario

I’m not an RPG man, but there is just something about Nintendo RPGs that make me gobble them right up- except for the very disappointing Partners in Time for the DS. Released while the N64 was on its very, very last leg, Paper Mario was the game the system desperately needed to fill its awful RPG void (sorry, Quest 64). Come to think of it, Paper Mario is one of the N64’s finest games and is one of the few that feels just as fresh today as it did seven years ago.

A pseudo-sequel to Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Paper Mario is your standard RPG fare, but with that timeless Nintendo flare. The quest takes Mario through eight chapters in his search for another seven stars. The battle system is a bit different from SMRPG by adding more timed action commands to the traditional turn-based system, as well as featuring two party members (Mario and a partner) instead of three.

Like most Mario RPG games, Paper Mario’s charm is found not only in the excellent quest, but in the hours of Nintendo references and amusing dialogue. As for the graphics, I have always loved the aesthetically pleasing style of the Paper Mario series, as this game is probably the only Nintendo 64 game that doesn’t look ridiculously dated. Overall, Paper Mario is practically a bargain for the Virtual Console considering the value found in playing through the game’s massive quest.

Final Opinion: Yay

Balloon Fight

Balloon Fight is one of those classic games that has enjoyed quite the revival in the past few years. I’m not exactly sure on why we have seen so much of this game, but Balloon Fight goodness can be found in Animal Crossing, Tetris DS’s touch mode, 9-Volt’s minigames in WarioWare, a trophy in Super Smash Bros. Melee, an e-Reader port, and even the Japan only DS game, Tingle’s Balloon Fight featuring… well, Tingle.

With that said, if you had any desire to play Balloon Fight, you probably have already found a way to do so. For those of you who haven’t tried the game yet, you more than likely don’t even care about this game. I don’t blame you. I’ve had more than my fair share of Balloon Fight to last me another system cycle. Why can’t Nintendo begin to resurrect games like StarTropics, Gyromite, and Clu Clu Land?

Final Opinion: Nay

Silent Debuggers

I have to give it up to the people who write the Virtual Console game descriptions. They can make any game look exciting. Hell, they can probably make a description for a parking lot simulator sound like the next Link to the Past. Silent Debuggers is no exception:

Assigned to inspect an unmanned space station, you have exactly 100 minutes to get in, destroy the monsters lurking in each block, make your way to the lowest level and deactivate the automatic detonator placed there. With each monster that slips by you, the core block becomes harder to survive in, so speed is key in preserving the facility and each separate block. Experience the thrill of survival as the timer ticks away and you uncover the truth of the events that occurred.

Monsters. Space stations. Races against time. Deactivating detonators. Wow, this game has everything! It’s just a shame that the parking lot simulator would probably be more exciting than this monster-filled crapfest. You might have 100 minutes to beat the game, but I doubt that you would even want to last 10 seconds in this endless maze of suck. Don’t believe me? Check out this video for proof:

At least the name is awesome.

Final Opinion: Nay

Well that’s it for this week! I’m elated that Paper Mario has finally arrived in North America after being in Europe for so long. Hell, I’m more excited about this than the whole David Beckham coming to America hype…

As for next week, I hope we can finally get some Mega Man love.

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