So summer’s practically here (as are the cicadas…) and I’m sure most of us are going to want to find ways to cool down. If you’re not lucky enough to have a swimming pool or to afford blasting your AC at freezing temperatures, you might want to try those Tetris ice cubes. But for some, that might not be enough.

You’re also starting to get a little hungry. You don’t want anything healthy, though. You want something so delicious and tasty that you forget about everything else around you and forget how much you’ve eaten. Unfortunately, your fridge is empty and you don’t really want to go to the store – especially since your car’s been sitting in the sun for hours and we all know what it would be like to get in there.

All of a sudden, you hear the divine call of angels. No wait, it’s that Pop Goes the Weasel song. The ice cream man is here! The ice cream man is here! Accounting for inflation these days, you run outside waving good ol’ Andrew Jackson for the ice cream man to see. He pulls up, and you realize you’re in for a treat: it’s Donkey Kone with THE BEST IN TOWN.

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