Having just recently watched Wayne’s World with Matthew, I have been especially reminiscent of the SNES game of the same name. Like most movies made into games, this one SUCKS and makes me want to spew in a small paper cup. I want to love this video game since the movie itself is held dear in my heart, but there are some things that just shouldn’t be made into a video game. Wayne’s World is one of those things!

The game opens with pixilated versions of Wayne and Garth sitting on their dilapidated couch in the basement of Wayne’s parents. After a virtual EXTREME CLOSE-UP!, Wayne and Garth begin their list of the top ten worst games they played at Noah’s Arcade that week. Regarding Henry: The Video Game, Gord’s Funtime Checkers, and Sputnik the Bowl Weevil were all games that were totally PAIL. They were so BUCKET! Except for Sputnik the Bowl Weevil–Garth thought that was pretty cool…NOT! I digress. The top worst game at Noah’s Arcade is Zantar, the Gelatinous Cube, and it did more than just suck up Wayne and Garth’s quarters. After a blinding flash of light, Wayne and Garth were transported into a video game world where Wayne’s head is the size of the Mirthmobile! Almost immediately Garth is swiped away by a purple, gelatinous appendage and it’s up to Wayne to explore this virtual world to save Garth! As riveting as this opening sequence is, the momentum does not keep for the rest of the game–Wayne’s World promptly falls apart at stage 1!

Confusion sets in as soon as gameplay commences–Wayne is suddenly thrust into a music store with a both a seemingly infinite ceiling and floor. Everything just seems to go on forever with absolutely no end in sight! So, with no clues or hints as to which direction this stage is going, I spent most of my time wandering about aimlessly, hopping from snare drum to snare drum. Your “weapon” of choice is a trusty guitar which you can use to strum sound waves at the walking tubas and accordions that patrol the store. I suppose this game wouldn’t be so challenging if there wasn’t so much crap going on in the background–too many times the angry bagpipes blended in with everything else rendering them almost invisible! Before I know it, I’ve jumped right into an enemy and suddenly “I’m not worthy!”

And that’s about all I can offer for this review–since I can’t figure out how to get past the first stage, there isn’t much more for me to even say! (I even tried to play again this morning after eating some peanut butter waffles–NO DICE!) I think there might be a conspiracy similar to the one presented by Noah Vanderhoff from Noah’s Arcade–the game was designed to keep you from advancing to the next level so you would just keep pumping in more time and buying strategy guides, or something of the sort! I don’t know, it FRUSTRATES ME TO NO END!

Chances are Wayne’s World for the SNES never even crossed your mind–you probably don’t own it or have never even played it. So why bring it up all of a sudden? Well, for one, last weekend’s viewing of the actual movie brought back memories of renting the SNES game at a ripe age and being thoroughly disappointed (but kind of in that good disappointment, where you know the game is terrible, but you have so much fun telling everyone how much it stinks!). But for the worldly, more “cosmopolitan” gamer, it’s important to know about those old poopshoot video games! It serves for excellent dinner conversation!

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